1979 edition edit

The works included in the 1979 trade edition of the book are:

• "My Uncle's Metaphysics"
• "Demolition of Cathedral at Chart
• "Annareddy Akshayareddy and her struggle"
• "The Boring Leading the Bored"
• "Cruel Shoes"
• "The Bohemians"
• "Serious Dogs"
• "The Diarrhea Gardens of El Camino Real"
• "Turds"
• "The Undertakers"
• "The Day the Dopes Came Over"
• "The Smokers"
• "She Had The Jugs"
• "Sex Crazed Love Goddesses"
• "Women Without Bones"
• "The Children Called Him Big Nose"
• "Wrong Number"
• "Morse and the Naughty Magnets"
• "Dynamite King"
• "The Gift of the Magi Indian Giver"
• "Poodles... Great Eating"
• "Shuckin' the Jive"
• "How To Fold Soup"
• "The Vengeful Curtain Rod"
• "Cows In Trouble"
• "The Complete Works of Alfredo Francesi"
• "Society In Aspen"
• "The Day the Buffalo Danced"
• "Things Not To Be"
• "No Man's Land"
• "Oh Mercy, The Prose-Poem Triptych!"
• "Comedy Events You Can Do"
• "Dr. Fitzkee's Lucky Astrology Diet"
• "The Morning I Got Out of Bed"
• "What to Say When the Ducks Show Up"
• "The Year Winter Lasted Nine Minutes"
• "The Almaden Summer"
• "The Nervous Father"
• "Dogs In My Nose"
• "Awards"
• "Rivers of the Dead"
• "When Men Shop"
• "The Last Thing On My Mind"

Limited 1977 edition edit

1. "Confessions"
2. "Smokers"
3. "Jugs"
4. "Women"
5. "Poodles"
6. "Alfredo"
7. "Cows"
8. "Self-review"
9. "Serious"
10. "S.M. Collection of Am. Art"
11. "Day"
12. "Sex Crazed"
13. "Wrong #"
14. "Morse"
15. "Gift"
16. "Fold Soup"
17. "Dr. Fitzkees"
18. "Morning"
19. "Year"
20. "Last Thing"
21. "Other Books"
22. "My Uncle's"
23. "The Day"
24. "Children"