In the last installment, I introduced two ideas you can adopt to overcome the fear of public speaking: 1) Having an accepting attitude toward your fear; 2) Having a willingness to be The Speaker, rather than The Unspeaker.
Don't Be the Unspeaker!
Fearful speakers create trouble for themselves when they don't embrace the role of Speaker. Instead, they try to be the Unspeaker. They try to "get through" the experience without committing themselves to the role of Speaker. They read, they drone, they overlook the audience, and they focus mainly on resisting their fear. The result of this resistance is, typically, that it gives you more public speaking anxiety, not less - just the opposite of what you want.
Hurrying
Rushing through a talk requires that you talk fast. Talking fast interferes with your breathing. Instead of breathing comfortably, you breathe in a short, shallow manner, or you might even hold your breath. This gives you the sensation of running out of air and being unable to breathe, a common fear in this situation, and one that greatly increases fear of public speaking.
All this hurrying reduces the chance that your audience can enjoy your speech. It creates a barrier between you and them, which might have been your intention, but this will actually increase your fear. The less of a connection you have with them, the more unfriendly they will seem to you, and the more speech anxiety you will experience.
Ignoring the Audience
Fearful speakers often try to ignore the audience, hoping this will decrease their speech anxiety. For instance, lots of fearful speakers avoid eye contact with the audience. This prevents you from noticing any audience reaction. You won't notice when people seem more interested, or have questions.
When you have no audience contact, you focus on your own thoughts. And if you're a fearful speaker, your thoughts are virtually guaranteed to be far more negative, and unrealistic, than anything your audience might think or say. The result? More, rather than less, fear of public speaking.
Fighting to Hide Your Fear
Finally, efforts to hide your fear create the additional fear of being "found out" as a nervous person. This only adds to the public speaking anxiety you already experience.
It has another negative side effect. After you've given a speech, even if it has gone well, you may take no pride in your success because of this thought: "If they knew how afraid I was, they'd think less of me."
