There is no one
definition of Good parenting; it is as diverse and varied as each parent. For Muslim
moms, the task becomes doubly difficult as they try to tread the fine line of
the modern world and Islamic teachings.
Although Islamic
history highlights the exemplary motherhood of Hazrat Khadija, Hazrat Fatima,
and Hazrat Bibi Zainab, it is often challenging for 21st-century
Muslim mothers to find practical Islamic parenting advice.
We fear that the
teachings of our religion are not implementable in today’s day and age. But our
deen is complete, and if you look closely, you will find guidance. Allah has
presented Surah Luqman to guide the behavior of all followers. Moreover, for
Muslim parents, there is no example more prominent than that of our Prophet.
Hadith informs us
of the love and kindness he bestowed on his daughters and grandchildren; Many
incidents have been reported in which the Prophet showered them with kisses and
hugs to show his love.
He also gave them
immense respect; there are numerous accounts of the Prophet standing up when
his daughter entered the room; he would remove the cloth on his shoulder and
spread it on the floor for his daughter to sit on. His love, kindness, and
respect towards his children is the ultimate example for any Muslim mom.
Besides ensuring
love, kindness, and respect, let us see what other things Muslim moms can do to
guarantee good parenting:
1.
Have Honest Intentions
As a parent, we make
many decisions in our daily life. For instance, which cartoon is the best,
which storybook to read, which games are ideal, and so on. In every parenting
decision we take, our intentions should align with the teachings of Islam.
No one is perfect,
your decisions may seem unIslamic to someone else. What matters is your
intention; make sure that the things you are doing will make your child and
your Allah happy.
For instance,
before letting your child see Peppa pig, ask yourself, will this make Allah
happy? Children want to watch cartoons, it is okay to let them watch cartoons,
but the cartoons can be in alignment with our religion as well.
Some of the best
Islamic cartoons on YouTube include:
-
Nasheed
for children
-
Umar
and Hana
-
Flowers
of Islam
-
Islamic
cartoons with Zaky
Similarly, if we
intend to make them follow the rules of Islam, we should obey them ourselves.
Do what you preach as your children will emulate your behavior.
2.
Do You
With time, you
will realize what things are working for you. Make sure not to copy others in
your style of parenting. Every child is unique, and so are the parents. You
know the skills, likes, and dislikes of your child; therefore, you can decide
what is best for them.
Don’t be in competition
with other moms. Do what you think is best according to the teachings of the
religion. Many moms, living in western countries find it hard to practice their
faith for fear of standing out or being shunned by society.
Own your religion;
practice parenting as you see fit. It will also make your children be more in
sync with the Islamic faith.
3.
Set Realistic Goals
Every mom loves to
become a super mom. However, smart moms are those who set realistic goals. For
instance, if you want your three-year-old to learn all six kalmas in one week,
you are setting yourself up for failure.
Set small and
achievable goals for yourself and your children, you don’t have to do
everything in one day or even one week. When you set realistic goals, you build
your children up. Once they achieve the goal (putting their toys away, learning
the dua for sleeping, or coloring within lines), you can celebrate their
achievement, which will make them confident adults.
4.
Making Every Moment Special
Childhood goes by
in a flash; celebrate every moment to make your child feel special and loved.
Remember, you have to be your child’s biggest cheerleader. We don’t have to
wait for milestone events to appreciate our children, praise their efforts, and
let them see that you understand them.
Celebrating your
child first namaz or fast is an excellent way to reward them for doing
something good that makes Allah happy. But don’t wait for these once in a
lifetime events to enjoy, make your child feel good every day.
Take a stroll in
the evening, enjoy a water fight, play a video game, or bake cookies. You can
make whatever you do special for your kid by listening to them and being their
friend.
5.
Stay In The Present
Being a Muslim
mom, you should have a firm belief in Allah. Believe that Allah will help you
manage as you prepare for the future needs of your children. Whether educational
expenses or marriage, Allah will make it happen. Stay in the present, and thank
Allah for every little thing. Do not obsess over what will be or what has
already happened; be grateful to Allah and enjoy all the things you have right
now. This time will not come back.
6.
Practice Positive Behavior
Muslim moms know
the importance of modeling behavior. Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) showed the real meaning
of life to the Muslims; he displayed the teachings of Islam with his practice
so that everyone can learn by watching him.
This gives us a
lesson that modeling behavior is essential to inspire the desired action. For
instance, if we want our kids to offer prayers five times a day, we should
practice it first.
Similarly, we
should be respectful to our elders, treat everyone with kindness, practice
charity, and be good neighbors, etc. so that our children learn from example.
When your children
will see you volunteering at the mosque, they will want to do it too. When they
will see you cleaning after yourself, they will practice cleanliness too. You
can even include your children in exciting activities to teach some of this
behavior. For instance, Carpet Cleaners Kent, suggested ‘family rug cleaning’ in which the whole family
participates in cleaning a rug and racing to see who gets it done first.
7.
Apologize
Islam teaches us
the importance of apology irrespective of age or status. When things go out of
control, losing temper is normal. But, a little sorry can strengthen your
relationship with children.
Sometimes losing
temper is justifiable, but at times we lose temper out of frustration. Let the
children know the importance of sorry and maintain a friendly relationship with
them.
Conclusion
Parenting is a
challenging task, but if you remain mindful of your actions and make sure that
you are not doing anything that is against the teaching of Islam, you are
golden. Remember, you can’t control everything, do the best you can and leave
the rest to Allah.
