What to do when you find out the truth about her?

Quite often when you date a girl and everything goes fine suddenly you learn something about her that you never expected. And that is not about her tastes, hobby or favorite taste of ice cream. It is about the thing that may question your future with her. For example, she has 2 kids or she is a widow… Should you run away or look at it from a different perspective? So what to do when you find out this secret about her? Let’s talk it through.

1. She has kids

Imagine you are dating a girl for a while. You start dreaming and planning. But suddenly you find out that she has a kid. Or even 2 kids. Of course you didn’t suspect this.

This news may ruin all your plans and expectations. Some guys will be scared away immediately. But here are few things to consider.

First of all, you need to understand whether she was trying to withhold this information for a long time on purpose. If so, you need to think twice before continuing your relationship. For a vast majority of normal men, children are not a problem. Therefore there is no sense to hide them.

Second of all, try to find out what is up with her ex. What kind of relationship do they have and how often do they communicate with each other? Sometimes ex-boyfriends may become a real problem.

And the third, make sure to ask her what she thinks about you and your potential relationship with her kids. What does she expect from you?

2. She is a widow

What if you find out that she is a widow? Is that a big problem? Does it change anything?

In most of the cases it should not be a problem. It is rather hard for women to start a new relationship though. And here are some things you should get to know when you hear this news about her.

First, try to carefully find out her goals when dating you. You may not want to be the “test run” guy for her first relationship after the tragedy. Unless you are fine with that.

Next, it is important to realize what part of her life was her ex for her. But be careful when asking her these questions. Women are quite sensitive in this period.

So, the way you treat her is extremely important. Make sure to check the detailed post: dating a widow. It explains deeply about this type of relationship.

By the way there is also a nice article about dating a widower. It will be quite useful for girls.

3. She is dating someone else

What if she also sees someone else? That is an unpleasant one, right? But again, don’t hurry up to judge her. Let’s think about it from a different perspective.

There are different people and different opinions about dating and relationships. For some people the first 3-5 dates is not a relationship at all, while for others it’s a serious thing.

There are also fans of open relationships even among celebrities. Here is the nice article: 11 celebrity couples with open relationships. It explains more about the philosophy of open relationships and super famous couples that are into them.

So, what you need to do is to ask yourself “what stage of relationship you are on?” and “what do you expect from her?” Hence just talk to her and see what she says.

4. She is not looking for a serious relationship

Now, what if you are looking for a serious relationship, but on the 9th or 10th date you find out that she is not. She just wants to have fun with you, but she is not thinking about things like family, children, etc.

Here are some points to think of.

First, try to understand if she is simply scared of serious relationships? If so, that is just a temporary problem. In most of the cases she needs some time to realize that you are great together and she does not want to be without you.

Then you need to understand the exact reason why she doesn't want a serious relationship. Sometimes there is a quite unfortunate reason, like disease or even a criminal past. Why not? It is not the end of the world, but you should definitely talk this through. 

If you do not find a win-win solution just move on, even if you really like her. It is hard to develop and maintain a relationship when your common future is unclear. If it is hard for you to start a new relationship try one of the modern dating sites. they don’t require any effort and save lots of time for you. Good example is victoriaclub.com dating. You can check reviews and learn more on how to quickly hook up with somebody online.

Wrap Up

So, to sum up, when you find out some shocking truth about her you need to calm down. Keep in mind that there is an explanation for anything in this world. What you want to do is to give her a chance to explain. Talk to her about this and maybe you understand where it comes from.

We are all human beings and most of us need to be social, communicate with each, build connections and relationships. Moreover, everyone deserves a second chance. So, whatever happens, use this option.