Signs You’re Too
Emotionally Dependent on Your Significant Other
·
You get jealous when they hang out with someone
else.
·
You always worry that your partner is going to
leave you.
·
Your partner’s validation of you matters more
than your own.
·
You like having control over your partner and
you get upset when they don’t do what you want.
·
Most of your self-worth comes from your
partner’s approval, affection and attention.
·
There’s no “me” time, just “us” time.
·
Their interests become your only interests.
·
Your happiness relies solely on your partner,
rather than on yourself
The Problems with
Being Too Emotionally Dependent
·
Emotional dependency arises from a lack of
self-esteem, but it can also destroy what self-esteem you do have.
·
It can cause you to be overwhelmed with feelings
of inadequacy, insecurity, and the fear of losing your partner.
·
These types of relationships can become toxic
and obsessive, causing you to isolate yourself from friends and family, lose
social skills, and let go of other outlets of happiness.
·
Being so reliant on a partner for everything
makes you more vulnerable to being emotionally and physically abused by your
partner.
·
Emotional dependency causes an imbalance of
power, causing one partner to have more control and authority over the other.
·
Your partner may act out their frustrations in
bad ways, such as yelling, lying, or becoming hostile.
·
Emotional dependency also contributes to mental
illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, and stress disorders. You may also
experience feelings of dysphoria, guilt, emptiness, and loneliness.
What Should You do to
Become More Emotionally Independent?
·
Spend time alone. You will do just fine by
yourself, and your partner will not leave you even though they are away from
you. Notice where your mind goes and find some patterns or habits you weren’t
previously aware of. These are the things affecting you and your relationship.
·
Find your identity. Who are you when you’re
alone? When you’re not trying to please someone else? Figure out what your
goals are, what makes you happy, what you like to do by yourself. If you don’t
have a strong sense of identity, try hard to experience new things to figure it
out. Do you think you like dancing? Try out a dance class! Or take baby steps
and dance by yourself in your room. Figure out what you like outside of your
relationship.
·
Sometimes, dependent people try to control their
partners. Catch yourself doing this and stop immediately. Your partner is
entitled to their own feelings, desires and choices (which don’t always involve
you). Take control of your own thoughts and actions. Don’t guilt trip your
partner for hanging out with friends – they’re allowed to!
·
Take responsibility for your own emotions. It’s
up to you to deal with them. You can’t expect your partner to always drop what
they’re doing to help you when you’re upset. Try to calm down first before
reaching out for help. Find healthy ways to cope with your emotions without
expecting your partner to fix it for you.
·
See a therapist or counselor if possible to get
more help.
