Helpful Rapport Building Behaviors
When listening, make encouraging sounds.
I once heard someone say that you don’t need to act like you’re actively listening when, in fact, you are actively listening! I disagree. I disagree for a selfish reason: Showing you are actively listening pulls the best from the one who’s speaking. They not only see, but they know you’re listening so they deliver their best for you. Therefore, you get the best of what they have to offer and you walk away with a greater understanding of their thoughts.
Use the other person’s name early in the conversation. This is not only seen as polite but will also reinforce the name in your mind so you are less likely to forget it!
Also, let’s face it. We’re all ego-centric. We enjoy hearing our name and so it makes us pay closer attention. Those who pay closer attention retain more of what you’re saying.
Ask open-ended questions; questions requiring more than a yes or no answer.
When you can’t respond with a simple yes or no, that means you have to reveal more of either yourself, your life experience or your thoughts. Therefore, the conversation is better and I now learned more about you.
Use feedback to summarize, reflect and clarify what you think they have said. This rectifies misunderstandings quickly.
It also lets them know you’re paying attention and you care about what they’re saying. This also feeds their ego.
Talk about things that refer back to what the other person has said. Find links between common experiences. But keep your personal reflections short, end by asking an open-ended question to get them talking further.
Shared common experiences build bridges to each other.
Show empathy. Demonstrate you understand and can relate to how the other person feels; that you can see things from their point of view.
More positive bridges open people up more because they know you can understand and relate to what they’re saying.When in agreement with the other person, openly say so and say why.
Provides clarity and bonding.
Build on the other person’s ideas.
Get involved and create teamwork!
Be non-judgemental towards the other person. Let go of stereotypes and any preconceived ideas you may have about the person.
Don’t shut them down or cause them to shut you out by openly disagreeing with their point of view. Engage them further by asking them to share more about their thoughts and how they arrived at their way of thinking.
If you have to disagree with the other person, first say you can appreciate what they’re saying, then give the reason why you must disagree. Do it gently, not with an argumentative tone. Keep it conversational.
Admit when you don’t know the answer or have made a mistake. Being honest is always the best tactic, acknowledging mistakes will help to build trust.
It draws out their empathy and understanding. It is disarming.
Be genuine, with visual and verbal behaviors. Work together to maximize the impact of your communication.
Offer a compliment, avoid criticism and be polite.
