Cask or Can?
A tongue-in-cheek look at alcohol and its consumption
Would you rather be a mocker or a brawler? High class or low? Chic or inelegant? In other words when you reach for an alcoholic beverage, do you reach for the cask or the can?
From the time we’re young we’re bombarded with images of beer as the begetter of fast times, faster women and outrageous parties. While wine is the nectar of sophisticates who enjoy the finer things in life on their way up the ladder of success.
Why is this? Why is Bud, the ‘King of Beers”, the slug of the blue-collar set while Cabernet Sauvignon takes education to even pronounce, let alone enjoy?
We could say that on the one hand, we have “Wine, women and song.” While on the other hand, “Beers, Broads and Brawls.”
Wine is served in a glass with a stem. Beer comes in a can with a pop-top.
Wine can have a fine bouquet and great legs. Beer smells like sweat, but drink enough and it can make any legs look great.
Wine comes in white, red, rose, and dessert wines. Beer comes in….beer!
Even so, why is wine considered highbrow while beer is not? Why this alcohol caste system?
Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe it’s just as simple as one faction against another. The sippers vs. the guzzlers, the snobs against the slobs. Which side do you stand on? Which drink do you prefer? Who’s right, who’s wrong? Is either beverage better than the other? Who’s got the answer?
We can’t look to religion for the answer. Both beer and wine have played an important part of religious rites, rituals, and ceremonies throughout the centuries. It’s been a part of most western religions and denominations and many eastern religions and philosophies as well.
Look at catholic monks! They’re known to make all manner of alcoholic beverages; champagne, wine, beer liqueur, mead. Who can blame them? Anyone living an entire life without sex, anyone would jump at the chance to pass the day in a drunken stupor!
We all have a choice. Most people prefer one over the other. However, there are those who consider themselves “Bi-beverageal”—they readily admit they swig both ways!
They’re equally comfortable chugging or slurping, sipping or guzzling. It really doesn’t matter.
It all FEELS the same in the end, right? At least that’s what I’ve heard.
Marketing and advertising are the forces behind specific demographic promotion for both beverages. Billions of marketing dollars are spent to create, define and grow target consumers. The beer industry has found its primary demographic among men who are the sports-loving, every-man. The wine industry has found success by building a much more romantic and refined image.
But can beer and wine cross the boundaries of acceptability? Can the ‘King of Beers’ become the ‘Suds of Sophisticates’? Would a hard working laborer ever reach into the cooler on a hot day for an ice cold Pinot Noir? Will we ever see the day when a fine restaurant will employ a beer sommelier?
What do you think? Beer or wine? Who’s for beer? Who’s for wine? Who says it doesn’t matter, if you’re pouring, I’m drinking?
Ultimately, delight is at the discretion of the drunkard, I mean drinker. Whether you reach for the cask or the can, both are here to stay and the competition will only insure our future enjoyment of both. To all I lift my glass and say, “Here’s to staying positive while testing negative!
