It’s
a perfect Sunday morning. The blackout curtains are drawn closed. Not a
single streak of sunlight pokes through. Flogging Molly blares from
every speaker in your home. You move around the kitchen, preparing your
first—most glorious—cup of coffee.
That’s when a lightbulb clicks on in your brain.
You
check the date on your ‘Cute Puppies at Coffee Shops’ calendar and
discover you’re right—today’s the day you planned to have brunch with
your mom and her friends. She’s calling it a luncheon, but you know the
truth. It’s just her excuse to drink mimosas and eat French toast
sticks, fried macaroni and cheese balls at the same time.
It’s time to break out the big boy (or girl) pants and prepare to act like a semi-functioning adult.
Down a Strong Cup of Coffee Before You Leave the House
It
might be tempting to rush into the shower and clean yourself up, but
this is a crucial time for coffee drinking. Before any situation like
this, coffee with high caffeine comes
first. It may even take the edge off and help you cope with the fact
that all your clean clothes are currently in the washing machine.
Order Coffee for the Whole Table
When you get to the brunch (or luncheon),
order a round of coffee for everyone. Make a big gesture out of it to
distract your mom from the coffee T shirt you decided to wear to her
semi-formal outing. The good news is, you were at least able to find one
clean coffee tee when everything else was in the washer—otherwise, you
might be shirtless.
Give Your Mom a Gift—Her Favorite Coffee
If
your round of coffee for the table didn’t sufficiently distract your
mom, now’s the time to give her a gift—the gift of strong coffee. You
could even make the gift kind of sweet and get her some
chocolate-covered coffee beans instead of straight-up coffee.
Gosh, you are so considerate. You even opened the container to test it for her—what a sweetheart.
Drink Enough Coffee to Have a Conversation
If
you have to order another cup of coffee to hold a whole conversation
with your mom’s friends, then do it. You might have to skip the
screwdriver at the luncheon, but it’s a matter of life and death. Maybe
you pack an extra can of your favorite cold brew to keep you going.
Miranda, the real talker, might bring up the one time she changed your
diaper back in nineteen-whatever, but just keep sipping. There’s always
enough of your favorite strong coffee to get you through it.
Try Not to Spill Anyone’s Drink—Including Your Own
Brunches
with all the ladies can get a little wild (especially if Mom dragged
your dad along). One of the biggest blunders you could make here is to
spill a drink—anyone’s drink. Your cold brew, your mom’s mimosa, your
sister’s chai latte, your great aunt Tabitha’s scotch on the rocks, it
doesn’t matter. And Odin forbid you spill your dad’s cup of joe. That
dark roast is the only thing preventing him from going full WWE.
Whether
you’re preparing for Mother’s Day or a simple (not-so-simple) ladies’
luncheon with your mom and her friends, you can always squeeze in some
last-minute preparations, including a cup of coffee. This sort of prep
is critical when you need something with the most caffeine coffee delivers.
Keep a stash of your strongest stuff for those Sundays when you know
they’ll be serving the wimpy coffee or when you know you’ll need to
sneak in a can of highly caffeinated cold brew. Everyone’s sure to thank
you for making the day feel so special.
About Death Wish Coffee Co.
Get
a cup of the strong stuff when you brew with beans from Death Wish
Coffee Company. Death Wish Coffee Co. serves up strong, USDA Certified
Organic, Fair Trade coffee and merch to suit every palette. They are
committed to providing the World’s Strongest Coffee, which not only
jolts you into the world of the living with top-tier caffeine content
but also tastes ridiculously good. From the OG Dark Roast to the new
Medium Roast to Cold Brew, Latte, Death Cups, Valhalla Java and more,
Death Wish Coffee provides a smooth, flavorful, delicious coffee that
will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
To prepare for any less-than-ideal scenario, get coffee from https://www.deathwishcoffee.com/
Original Source: https://bit.ly/33i8jyc
