There are different thoughts and opinions about modern dating and relationships. Some say that they are too windy and irresponsible, others talk about marriages of convenience. So, most people question the morality of modern relationships. Let’s try to sort everything out.
What are the moral aspects of dating?
According to Wikipedia:
Morality - is the differentiation of intentions, decisions and actions between those that are distinguished as proper and those that are improper.
So in other words if your intentions, decisions and actions are considered as proper in society you are good. If not, then your behaviour is considered as immoral.
Now let's list the classic moral aspects of dating and relationships.
No cheating. One cannot have 2 or more relationships at the same time.
No lies. One cannot lie to his / her couple.
No sex without obligations.
Both parties have to strive for marriage.
The age difference should not be significant.
Self-sacrifice is a part of a morally accurate relationship.
etc…
These are some classical moral aspects of dating that most people share.
When were the moral aspects of dating followed?
There is another prejudice that some time ago dating was amazing in terms of public morality. I hasten to dissuade you from this. Here are some facts from history.
1. In ancient Greece and Rome, public mass sex games were considered the norm. Full-blown orgies were quite popular among them.
2. In the Middle Ages, marriages were solely of convenience. For some people they were exclusively for procreation for others they were as a social elevator.
3. In Shakespeare’s time it was normal to arrange marriages between 12-14 years old kids. Do you remember Romeo & Juliet? They were 13!
4. In the Renaissance times it was ok to have several lovers as long as you can financially afford them.
5. In the 18th and the 19th centuries in Europe marriages with large age gaps between partners were popular and were considered as morally acceptable.
So, the question here is:
“Was there a time when society was in accordance with our modern moral laws and principles?”
Movies and books tell us romantic stories from the past but where is the truth?
No doubt, there were always some people that fit all the “classical” criterias of morality, but they are a minority.
Why there shouldn't be any rules in dating?
So, we come to some intermediate inferences. We have some set of moral rules that we think should be applied to modern dating and relationships. However, we are not sure where we got them from and if they are actually right. Let’s question just some of them.
Let’s talk about age difference. What age gap is fine? 3 years or 7 years? What if a man loves and wants a woman 15 years younger than him? And she wants to be with him as well. Should they ask permission from someone to be together? Just take a look at SugarDaddy Review. Do they have to think about age differences?
What about intentions? Do they necessarily have to strive for marriage? What if a couple has a nice time together. They don’t want to be pushed by their family, society to live together or get married.
Now about “no sex without obligations”. Sexual attraction is a natural thing. It has nothing to do with such emotions as “love” or being “attached” to the person.
Did you know that according to research of scientists from University of Ohio men think about sex about 17 times during a day (women 10 times). So it’s every hour (taking into the account that we sleep 6-8 hours a day).
Large time gaps between sexual relationships may cause both physical and mental problems. Therefore in some cases “sex without obligation” may even help people.
Another important fact about modern dating is that it is international now. Easiness of travels and the global internet make it super easy to date someone from the other part of the world. For instance, have you heard about AsiaMe dating site? In just a few clicks you can start communication with girls from China, Japan, Korea, etc.
And the last but not the least is “marriage of confidence”. As we already mentioned this has been considered as normal for many years. If we take a look at the wild world females tend to choose stronger males that can protect them. In our times unfortunately (or fortunately) plenty of people measure strength in terms of financial security. That is why everybody strives for wealth. There is even a special online service that connects educated and wealthy men and women called Elite Partner.
Conclusions
Let’s make several conclusions from our reflections.
First of all, dating and relationships have been continuously evolving with the society.
Second of all, public morality is super subjective and every postulate is questionable.
Third, modern dating is open and interactive. Though, plenty of communication has been moved online.
So, modern dating is not that bad as some may say. It reflects the processes that happen in our world. We are more about business, internet, computers, social media. No wonder it influences the way we build our relationships.
