Visiting is a social activity that commonly occurs, a very reasonable activity, ordinary, and maybe just spontaneous. There are some special cases that need to be careful of the activity of mourn. Died suddenly, there are still small children, without preceded by a dangerous illness, still young usually raises questions for mourners and deeper grief for families let alone spouses and children.
Visiting also requires the art of communication. There is something better not to do and what needs or can be done. Be careful about things like this:
Tells your own sadness,
For example I have also experienced, so know your feelings. Such behavior can make grieving family members feel ignored and normal grief. If so why should mourn?
Instead, it becomes confide, not mourn.
The tendency of people is to be listened rather than to listen, so if they are not careful, they will even vent the problem of grief, not understanding the grief that is being lost.
Sadness is not a part of each other to equalize.
By expressing and sharing his experiences as if all the same.
Holy / spiritual advice, or other advice.
The grieving person basically already knows that it is God's will, has arrived at the promise of life, is happy and so on. Not that, might be resentful with the advice given.
Prudent wise with kinds of tips and solutions.
Losing is already a burden that is not light, do not burden it with advice that does not necessarily fit what can help alleviate. For example it is forbidden to cry sorry for the dead and children, even though crying can help relief.
Especially making excessive humor.
Entertaining may even with jokes that can lighten but not with excessive jokes and make the atmosphere even uncomfortable for everyone. Ask about the cause and chronology of the incident, unless told, if you want to know it is really better to ask other family members who seem more prepared to share their stories.
Retelling can indeed help relieve sorrow, but with the same repetition continuously can add unnecessary burden. Curiosity so that no misunderstanding is fine, it would be wise to ask the other party or the opportunity to come. Come to cheer and edify not to fulfill curiosity.
What is necessary and wise if done:
When asked for advice, listen first and understand
Affirmation is needed to alleviate, resist the desire to help and leave the person alone with grief bacaan doa melayat atau takziyah, if you really ask for help advice, listen first, do not interrupt let alone interrupt the conversation. Dive into his feelings by listening, studying, and giving advice as long as he is able, if he is unable to say it honestly and that is very important to listen first.
If you are asked to accompany you to accompany you, don't stop it.
Crying is one means of releasing sadness, disappointment, and whatever feelings it is, let it cry and don't stop, let it flow and let out a tightness in the chest. Give the shoulder not the mouth to advise or stop it. Readiness to strengthen will help.
Give advice as needed and as requested.
Advice can and should, as long as it is requested and that helps, rather than burdens. Behave naturally / neutral / don't go along with sadness / let alone cry excessively even though sad and also close in relationship. Closeness relations or still relatives can make the same sadness with family. If that happens, don't cry with or exceed their nuclear family. Especially if you come with a very reasonable attitude, can understand, not grumpy, but also not moping really helps.
Consolation is indeed necessary, even the main thing, as long as it is needed. What they need is not what we want to make. What people want to do when I experience it can be a mirror of what we will do for our grieving fellow. Thus we can be more useful. There is no one who will not die, regarding the time only God knows, doa melayat all who live waiting for his turn to be called. To mourn is to help the living who is far more important, the deceased has become his own responsibility with the Divine. What I write is only as long as the experience I did and experienced.
Greetings of peace.
Article author : Abu Ubaidillah
Article source name : Yukampus
Source URL : https://www.yukampus.com/