Ask any parent, and they will tell you that having a kid or kids is the greatest thing that has ever happened to them.
There is one thing they are not telling you, though: the first couple of months of being a new parent can be the toughest, most challenging time of your life.
Adding a new baby into a family can be a big adjustment. Throw in some sleep deprivation and nursing and add the stress of everyday life and you might just have a recipe for disaster. Things can get even more challenging if you have just started your own business or moved your business online, as you are bound to feel the urge to be everything and everywhere at once.
Have no fear. There is a way you can stay sane as a new parent. Here are the essential tips to help you manage the challenges of having a newborn in your home.
Join a mom group - or start one
When you are a fresh parent, it might seem to you that you are the only one who has some trouble managing things. That, of course, is not true.
The best way to make sure that you have someone nearby to talk to is to join a mom group or even create one.
For instance, each week, a different mom could host the playgroup at their place, and another mom would bring snacks. The babies can play with each other - or just roll around, depending on how old they are.
A group like this can be a lifesaver. No one in your vicinity can be as eager to talk about the best pacifiers or diapers on the market as much as your fellow sufferers... I mean, mothers!
Routines matter
Kids and toddlers love routines as they give them a sense of stability and safety.
Having established routines can help you, too.
Make sure you get to go outside every day to a park or a toddler group when you have a young baby to get a change of scenery, which can be a lifesaver. When you have a routine, you do not need to continually decide what you are doing, and children thrive on routine.
Routines can also help ensure things do not pile up in our busy lives. Having a place you always put the keys, the hairbrush, etc, and even having a shared diary with your partner can make life so much easier.
Get help
Know that saying “it takes a village?” Well, that is not too far from the truth.
If you can't pay a lot for childcare, there are other options. Find another mom in the neighborhood and swap a few hours of childcare each week. Try "share care" - if a babysitter watches two babies, each family pays less than they would for one-on-one care.
A responsible friend, family member, or babysitter can watch the baby while you nap or have a spa day at home. If you're worried about a babysitter's abilities, have her take care of the baby while you're in the house so you can watch her while getting a little more time to yourself.
You should get help with your mental health, too - each new event in our lives, no matter how positive it is, can be too hard to process on your own. Find a reliable mental health professional that you can share all your worries and joy with. Let them help you help yourself.
You can help your baby sleep better
Newborns are going to wake up all night long to feed because they need it. This is unavoidable.
However, you can help them develop good sleeping habits from the beginning that will transition naturally into babies who start sleeping through the night and nap well.
The idea is to create an environment that encourages sleep and helps set your newborn up to be a well-rested baby.
After you put the baby down for a nap, take a 10-minute break to recharge: the dishes, laundry, and vacuuming can wait a little longer. Take a shower, make some tea, sit down with a magazine, or sit in the garden and clear your head.
Take some time for yourself
Parenting is a hard job. But like any other job, you can't be expected to work every waking minute. Whether it's for half an hour or half a day, you need to get away from the house sometimes and indulge your interests or guilty pleasures.
Just the knowledge that you will get that relaxing time to do something just for you every day will help you get through any challenges that might come your way.
Don’t try to be perfect
Developing thick skin is a survival skill when you have children. Your home does not need to be perfect, and neither do your children. If people make any unkind comment about you, your family, or your children, just try to think it is their problem, not yours. Your friends love you for who you are, not because you have a tidy home.
When it comes to other parenting skills, keep in mind that you can do for your kid something that other parents cannot.
It's important to know what you're good at and to have confidence in your strengths. That way, you can watch other parents doing things that you never could without feeling inadequate. After all, you and I both know that those other parents can't do everything either. Whenever you feel a hint of jealousy rising, just stop and remind yourself of what you're great at.
Don’t neglect your partner
New parents often find that they rarely sit down and talk, let alone do something more intimate.
Take the time of the day to spend some quality time with your significant other. If your child isn't sleeping well at night yet, try a daytime date. Or, spend an evening in front of the TV, with a nice movie and some popcorn. You could also just go for a walk through the neighborhood.
Do whatever you can and whatever it takes to make your relationship a priority and remind each other that you are two people who love and care for one another.
