So far we’ve covered how manners matter. How they matter to others and to ourselves in our public lives and at home to our families and other loved ones. Manners matter most on the inside—in every location that applies.
I’d like to go back to the idea that an ‘Attitude of Gratitude’ is the delivery system along which good manners travel. I wrote about this in the introduction to this blog two days ago.
Truly good manners are outward expressions of the gracious nature within us reaching out to bless others regardless of the outcome. Truly good manners are deaf and blind to the subject of their blessing. The depth of our immersion in this inner state of gratitude and graciousness is revealed only in how authentic it is in us and how transparent it appears in its demonstration to others.
Several years ago I made a commitment to myself that I would try to be mannerly and thoughtful to my fellow humans wherever and whenever possible. It wasn’t easy at first. To be honest, my motivations weren’t always pure, but like any skill practiced long enough, it became second nature.
I made this choice because I noticed how good it made me feel, how much it lifted my spirits, to be treated with respect. So I set out to look for little opportunities, little ‘Divine Appointments’, where I could demonstrate kindness, thoughtfulness, or just overall good behavior toward others. When I started, I kept track of people's reactions. You know what I saw? People stood just a little straighter, they smiled just a bit wider, most thanked me for my gesture.
What is my benefit? Personal satisfaction; the knowledge that in some small, way I get to make a difference in someone’s life—today. Maybe they’ve been under the gun at work, maybe they’re struggling with personal issues that weigh them down almost to the breaking point. Then, a small kindness is offered from someone unknown to them, for no apparent reason.
That’s joyful! For all involved. Join me won’t you?
My hope is that you will be inspired to join me in my quest to practice good manners in all things, in all places, and in every way possible, every day!
